


Bad Joints and Scar Tissue

by Eeyoreneedsahug



Series: before [1]
Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: Angst, Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Era, Cleveland, Dealing With Trauma, Donny is bi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Phrases, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survivor Guilt, TBI, Team as Family, coping with loss, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 03:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12832401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug
Summary: “I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now.”Donny hears this phrase and it sticks with him.





	Bad Joints and Scar Tissue

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love this musical. 
> 
> Also: "I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now,” was something one of my veteran friends said in German class (in reference to playing rugby but I was listening to the cast album a lot).

“I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now.”

The first time Donny hears this phrase he’s sitting in the Veterans Affairs Office, waiting to get his money. He’s been back for all of two weeks and still, nothing feels real (except for the nightmares and somehow that phrase). 

That’s all he is. He’s not who he was. He’ll never be that person again. 

It’s a good phrase. It sticks with him.

\---

So when he hears it a few weeks later, after a set that ran just too long for Wayne to be comfortable, with just too much alcohol for Davy to be steady, with too much–

“hangin’ on to the steering wheel of my jeep as it was flippin’ three times. Three surgeries on my back. So I suppose I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now,” Johnny says, downing his pill like he always does after the show (slows me down before, you know, he says every night after he takes it). 

“I’ve heard those words before,” Donny says more sharply than he’d intended. Johnny looks over at him nodding. 

“Yeah, sorry. I repeat myself a lot because my memory is shot. You see my jeep was flippin’ three times. Three surgeries on my back. Pills after the show. Slows me down before, you know,” he says like clockwork. 

The Jeep Donny has heard before too. He thinks it might be Johnny’s train. Donny can’t hold onto the idea of a future unless he focuses on the one event. He will ride first class to New York (and then maybe Michael will–). Johnny can barely hold on to any of his past (except for the Jeep. “You see my jeep was flippin’ three times. Three surgeries on my back,” as if to remind himself that he survived). 

The other part...that’s not something Donny’s heard him say before. He’d have remembered it coming from Johnny. He has heard it before. It takes him another moment to place it. The Veteran’s Affairs Office. 

“I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now.” A phrase uttered out into the crowd of understanding ears. 

Because they’re right. That’s all any of them are at this point, “bad joints and scar tissue.” 

\---

“You know some scars are deep. You know that?” Davy says dropping back the rest of his lukewarm beer. 

“Yeah, I got you, Davy,” Donny says glancing around the bar. They’re the last ones here except for Jimmy studying in the corner (“I don’t like to be alone. You know that.” He’d answered when Donny had asked him if he’d rather work at home.).

“No I mean some scars you don’t see. Like Dachau. I saw...but you get it.” 

“Yeah. Those would have to be the worst,” Donny says slowly. They’re silent. Staring into their empty glasses for a while.

“That’s why I’d say it’s true,” Davy says after a moment. 

“What is?” 

“I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now. And a bad liver. You see not all scars are really there but they’re there you know.” 

“I know,” Donny replies. Michael is one of his scars. So’s the train. Maybe Julia is another. Maybe this radio competition will be one too. 

—-

Now that he’s noticed his band saying it, he hears it all the time. Nick when his knees creak as he’s packing up his trumpet. Wayne when he’s wiping down the top of the piano (again) because “we’re professionals Donny,” and his shoulder pops. Jimmy when they first see the tattoo-like burn on his side (“oil floats, you know.”). 

And it’s not just his band. He hears Joe who sells fruit at West Side Market tell it to the new Pierogi vendor when he needs help unloading his truck because “Mary’s sick today and I still have the same number of boxes.” He hears it when he and Jimmy and Julia are walking around the Oberlin art museum because “Donny have you noticed Jimmy looking down? He’d like the art museum, right?” He’d only nodded and guiltily said “of course Julia,” but he hadn’t really noticed between worrying about the competition and not sleeping and thinking about Julia and not talking about...Rubber (not his Michael...not around the guys)...and not thinking about Michael–  
And some guy had stopped at the stairs as his girl started towards them and said “I’d better not. I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now. Mostly bad knees.” 

It’s spreading and Donny can’t quite wonder if it’s real because it feels real but so do the dreams where Michael is still alive and–

“I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now,” Donny says when Julia asks him about Michael for what seems to be the hundredth time that day. “I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now, but he’s dead,” he thinks. Maybe he deserves every scar and every joint. Maybe they’re Michael and everything he hadn’t gotten to do. Like the train. Quarter after five.

She doesn’t accept that. 

“You aren’t just bad joints and scar tissue. You’re also a musician and a good friend. You’re also alive!” The ‘and Michael isn’t’ goes unspoken but it hangs heavily in the air between them. 

“Look Julia...I gotta go. We got another big day tomorrow and you should get to sleep too,” he says turning and walking away faster than he thought was possible. 

\---

And when he falls to the floor after they’ve won but there’s no way they can–

He just thinks it to himself. “I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now. Not even a musician. A competition winner but what does that matter when we can’t afford to take the train to New York City.”

But then Julia is next on the floor next to him and Michael wouldn’t want his best girl to be sad and Michael would want his best–

Donny starts planning. Because Michael always said they’d take the train and damn well going to take that train even if it means not resting a second. Even if it means taking every gig. Even if (Michael isn’t there to see it and it’s all his fault). 

And then Julia finds out and everything falls apart but he’s still just bad joints and scar tissue.

They go to the city. They lose (but the win so many more hearts). 

And maybe–

“Hey, Johnny?” Donny asks one day when they’re in Schenectady, New York getting ready to play Proctors. 

“Yeah, Donny?” he replies.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you...where’d you hear it?”

“Where’d I hear what?” Johnny asks, tilting his head in confusion. 

“I’m just bad joints and scar tissue now. Where’d that come from?” he asks. Johnny frowns.

“My memory is shit, Donny. I’ll...if I remember I’ll try to remember to tell you,” he says. Donny nods. 

“Thanks, Johnny,” he says. “Now about the tempo as we come off of the–”

\---

They’re in Houston before Johnny remembers. 

“Hey Johnny, wasn’t there something you wanted to tell Donny,” Jimmy asks as they’re unpacking their instruments for the thousandth time this tour. 

“Was there?” he asks surprised.

“There was?” Donny asks just a beat after.

“Yeah…” Jimmy says trailing off. “About the thing?” He’s trying to be subtle but Johnny isn’t picking up on the hints. “About the joints and scars thing?” He asks and Johnny’s eyes light up in recognition.

“Oh yeah! Donny, I have something to tell you,” he says, suddenly excited. “I remembered where that came from and everything.” 

“Yeah?” Donny asks, his heart leaping. He’s just so curious. 

“I made it up,” Johnny says. Donny squints his eyes slightly. 

“You what?” He asks.

“I made it up with the boys in my Jeep. You see my jeep was flippin’ three times. Three surgeries on my back. But before that, the boys and I still would say that we were just bad joints and scar tissue on account of how sore we were all the time. I remembered the phrase really well when I woke up. Been saying it all around.”

“Wow,” Donny says. 

“Yeah but some things just stick with you, ya know, even when everything else leaves you still got those things?”

“Yeah,” Donny replies. He knows.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come talk to me on tumblr!](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)  
>  Thank you to Poe who read this over (even though she hasn't seen the musical).


End file.
